Thursday, 14 March 2013
Learning to Surrender.
What are the true implications, I wonder? What does it mean to give in to one thing and not the other? And why is that important?
I will look at the obvious here. This is the struggle between life and death. Lets look at death.
Death is an end, yes, but I am learning that it likes to stay just out of reach - taunting, tantalising, threatening, and dark. We should steer clear of death, obviously. Yet reality of what life is sometimes makes us look closer - too close - to the end. Lets face it, we have all had times where we wanted to die, to end it, for nothingness. Often it is not death itself that drives us, but pain. Of wanting to escape so badly that the temptation of slipping into nothing becomes tangible. Well, that is a lie. Death is not an end. Death cannot stop or nullify the problem. Death is continuous, never ending hell, torment, despair and destruction. So why do we desire it?
Because it appears easier than choosing life.
Life is hard. Living requires effort, willingness, wanting to be alive, desiring purpose, future and hope. The reality of life is that it is a struggle - just like breathing requires effort, and retaining a heartbeat requires force and resistance. Life is hard. Death appears the easy way out. Despite this false appearance, death is a lie - it will never satisfy or complete. It will always be an empty hell.
Choosing life. This is my current greatest battle. So real, so terrifyingly close and constant. I am not talking the realm of suicidal thoughts - this is an entirely separate issue here - but rather the war between life and death which rages every day in us all, in some way or another. It is real, and it is something I have been made aware of. Get this. There is life. There is death. You choose. There is so much more at stake here than living happily ever after in heaven. This is now.
This battle is not yours to fight.
I am learning, God. Yet as much as I struggle, the turmoil increases and uncertainty looms - alongside fear. Fear goes hand-in-hand with death. Oh, fear. Fear binds, holds in chains, keeps captive. Fear brings death. Fear is crippling. So why does it control us so easily? Because we allow it to overwhelm and rule; instead of resisting we give into the temptation of allowing fear to control us.
Now lets go back to life. Oh, the promise of life has surely got to be more than a whim of joy eventually, or some fantasy that seems unreal. Well, it is, but finding the true meaning of life is a little harder than you might think. Stuck in a dark pit, one can hardly see or look forward to the hope and promise of life without difficulty. There is always that option of slipping into death, but as we know that promise is empty as the grave. So we are left with another option - I believe a choice that is harder by far.
Life. What does it mean to choose life? It means effort and resistance. It means fighting. It means surrender, escape and freedom all at once.
I would like to say this part us easy, but that is so untrue. Often it is harder to choose something that requires effort when all we want to do is give up or give in - but that is exactly the place we need to be in.
Now we are at a crossroads. We are harshly faced with two options - to give in to death and be made its eternal hostage, or to give in to life and surrender completely to what it involves. Both options offer a means of escape, to some degree. But the choice is what defines.
You are still alive.
Therefore the choice is yours.
At this point, the battle is being waged not only in you, but around you. God owns this battle. Choose to surrender to life. Give up fighting, stop desiring an end. Weak and feeble you may be, yes, but.
Give in to God, let him carry you. Find the life God promises and you WILL LIVE IN IT.
Tell me, when you feel physically tired, does it not feel like complete bliss when you lay down and surrender to the healing restoration of sleep? Our surrender to life and to God must be made complete in this way.
Therefore choose life. God promises to sustain, love, protect, give hope, rescue, save, and fulfil us - if only we will allow him to.
God help me choose life, to desire it. Keep death far from my soul - for I believe, or at least my faint heart is trying to believe that when I give in to total surrender you will spare me and give me purpose as your word promises.
"This day I call heaven and earth as witnessess against you -
That I have set before you life and death, blessings and cursings.
Now choose life."
~ Deuteronomy 30:19
Complete and total surrender. Give in to life, to the knowledge of not only eternal hope but purpose, and the unconditional protection of the Love of God. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Surrender not to death, but to life. Do not live in fear.