Yesterday was an apparently normal day.
In town, getting away from the havoc of home, babysitting, and endless family/farm life.
My sister and I went to watch the movie, 'Frozen' for an afternoon out.
There's a lot more to that movie than I thought. What's more, there was a lot more to yesterday than I thought.
Needless to say, God got me - right where He wanted to.
I recommend watching that movie. It's good. But I appreciated it more than most, probably, simply in the way God revealed to me through it.
Watching the inner turmoil of Elsa, the fear and constant pain of internalising everything, holding it all in, of not feeling.
That has been my life. There was one point where I nearly walked out because it represented for me a place so unbearable and terrifying - of not being able to control, of being ruled by fear, and of the inner turmoil and constant storm inside.
That hasn't just been the last year for me, that has been my life.
But the most powerful part of the movie, for me, was where Elsa ran off after the people discovered her secret - when she couldn't hide it anymore.
Running away, up that mountain, she didn't recoil in fear,but finally let it all out.
Let it go. Everything.
Everything that had ever kept her locked away, captive to fear.
At that moment I felt God touch me, almost physically, and I knew.
Tears streaming down my face, even in a public cinema, God revealed to me that was exactly where I was now, and had been recently.
Finally, at that place, where you can no longer hold it in, no longer lie, no longer hide.
Finally, fear has no hold.
Letting go.
I have now reached that place - the place of letting go, of being who I was made to be.
That sounds like a simple explanation but it is not.
I know.
And I have let it go.
Now let it be beautiful -
Me
I will be beautiful. Who I was made to be.
Wow.
This is Who I Am.
Let it Go.
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