Glorious Ruins

Recently God has been showing me there is still more to heal.
That hasn't come as a surprise to me, I suppose I simply hoped the purification had stopped for just a little while. It seemed not to be.
Yet that is a good thing.

This morning I listened to a sermon by Brian Housten. What spoke to me about this message was not simply the content, but the way God directed it at me.

Recently I have been drudging up more mess thanks to Him, and we have been working on the same topic a while now.
Another step forward, this message (and song) inspired me to believe in the impossible.

That the ruins of life, love and relationships can again become glorious - as they were made to be.

There is that hope - and a God who fulfills it.

Glorious Ruins

VERSE
When the mountains fall
And the tempest roars You are with me
When creation folds
Still my soul will soar on Your mercy

PRE-CHORUS
I'll walk through the fire
With my head lifted high
And my spirit revived in Your story
And I'll look to the cross
As my failure is lost
In the light of Your glorious grace

CHORUS
Let the ruins come to life
In the beauty of Your Name
Rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign

And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of Your wings
I will love You forever
And forever I'll sing

VERSE
When the world caves in
Still my hope will cling to Your promise
Where my courage ends
Let my heart find strength in Your presence

Revelations of a Sinner

Revelations of a Sinner.

How does one attempt to write on that topic if the very title seems drastic or even extraordinary  Well, I suppose I shall have to simply go for it.

A Sinner. Ooh...  none of us like that word. (Well, I certainly don't.) It seems Christian society has somehow managed to label and box into categories what we define as Sin, and who of us are sinners.

Truth is, we live in a fallen world, we all sin, and we are all sinners. Ooooh. 

Now bear with me - before you think I am either extreme or hypocritical.

I did say these were revelations. 

Firstly, to be a sinner we all have to do something - Sin.

Unfortunately its so natural to us that it becomes a default mechanism.

Sin is disobedience against God. There, I've said it. You know that, you say? 
Well, I believe what is more important than the act of sinning itself is the attitude of the heart. That's what God sees. 
Something that is not considered 'sin' can be obviously sin - in Gods eyes - if in the heart, the motive is rebellion against God. 
Oftentimes, we are not even aware of this sin, and it repeats on us , creating repetitive default patterns. Sometimes there is sin in our lives we know about but cannot stop doing - chances are it is an established pattern caused by a wrong heart attitude.

God looks at the heart if men. He sees often what we do not. 
Sometimes, I think we believe the confusion and the deception so much we refuse to search our hearts and discover they are stinking rotten.
The Bible says they are. Yet even when we have found, or discovered that rottenness it seems impossible to clean. 
Well, as Christians, we do all know the answer to that. 
Jesus. He came in order that we might be cleansed, made whole, every stain removed.

But.

In order for this to happen, one thing has to change.

The attitude of the heart.

Yep. Jesus can, and will cleanse and restore us if we ask, but in order for that cleansing to remain in all its fullness, something has to change.

Oftentimes we are unclean because of choices we have not made; other peoples influences and decisions, etc. but even the heart of a little child can choose to rebel - against God and its parents - and that little act there is Sin.

In order for Jesus's cleansing to be complete, there is a third step.

Repentance.

Repentance follows confession. Confession is the act of recognising sin and asking forgiveness for it.

All very well, but a child could confess, ask forgiveness  and keep licking a power point  Eventually this dangerous rebellion will destroy them. (Example only.)

Repentance is a changed attitude. Repentance is a choice.
A choice to confess, and to turn away from the old. 
Repentance is not easy.
But when the attitude of the heart changes, God honours that. When the heart changes towards God, the sinful habit dies. Sure, it can be reattached  but that is entirely up to the sinner - he who chooses.

Recently I have been. Studying the Book of Jeremiah. One passage particularly caught my attention:

19 Therefore this is what the Lord says:

“If you repent, I will restore you
    that you may serve me;
if you utter worthy, not worthless, words,
    you will be my spokesman.
Let this people turn to you,
    but you must not turn to them.
20 I will make you a wall to this people,
    a fortified wall of bronze;
they will fight against you
    but will not overcome you,
for I am with you
    to rescue and save you,”
declares the Lord.
21 “I will save you from the hands of the wicked
    and deliver you from the grasp of the cruel.”

This verse comes after a pretty heavy passage where Jeremiah is pleading for the lives of the Israelites.

what I couldn't understand about this verse was the way God was telling Jeremia to repent. (To me, it seemed as if he was about the only one upright in the land, and he was delivering God's message to the God's people who had rebelled against Him - the people who, in turn, punished Jeremiah and tried to kill him.

So what did he have a.need to repent for? Asking God for revelation, I waited. A few days . Finally I read another version. This is (paraphrased) what God said to Jeremiah: "Repent of the undeserved thought/s in your heart that I am unfaithful and untrustworthy."

Ouch.

Put simply, Jeremiah wasn't fully trusting God.

Simple enough, it almost seems passable as reasonable. Sure, he is afraid, isn't doubt expected?
Well, that's the thing.
He was sinning, and what was wrong was the attitude of his heart. He didn't trust God.

Mmmm. That's a tricky one. In order for many of us to admit that, to God, let alone to ourselves, means we have to search our hearts and be willing to see ourselves as we are - unclean. Jesus will make us clean, yes!  But first  we must want to be clean, and repent. To turn. Turn from that which is not God. And God, in his faithfulness will restore us.

With this concept in mind, we realise that what makes us a sinner is not so much the sin but the attitude inside  Sin or the act which displeases God is only the surface problem, like a bubbling, or the top of the volcano as it explodes that lava has to come from somewhere.

This attitude is decided by a choice - a choice we make in our hearts, that we often may not even be aware of a choice to rebel, to say no in our hearts, this is sin.
Yes, the outward sin matters, but it id only a reflection of what is within.

....

I challenge you - Search your heart. Ask God to search your heart. Thats scary stuff right there. 

Do you want to live for God or against him? It is the attitude God sees. You cannot serve God and keep sin. Yes, there are things, sins, God waits to deal with. But it is the Attitude which he sees.
God wants us pure, like he is. Cleansed, and available, having a deep relationship with him. 
Search your heart. Repent. Turn from what is not of God. From that which hinders your relationship with him. 

What the Lord has done in ME - and What He is still doing... though I know it not.

Wow. I don't know where to start, or really that there is a beginning.
There is merely a forward motion of progress; no apparent start and no apparent end. And so, this is the way, it would seem, life goes.
So be it. And what, exaclty, you ask... is that supposed to mean exactly? Not a huge deal. In some kind of optimistic way, though, it means that life goes on. Which it does. Funny thing is, that's the nature of life, isn't it? And yet God has organised it that way. Day in.. day out. Sun rises, sun sets. Seasons come and go.
Yes. Right now, I am meandering. So, shall I get the the point?

My title. If the above didn't exactly make much sense, I'll skip the waffle and give an interpretation, in, well, English.
So much has happened in my life over the past 3+ weeks. I've been busy, away, absolutely flat-out and sometimes bored out of my brain. (That was 3 weeks ago, home alone... )
As I stated abive, I never really know where or when, or how to start. Especially now, now that God has done something incredible in my life.
I suppose I'll go back to where I left off from my last post here, and a quick fill-in of what's been happening in this crazy mad life of mine. Most importantly, God has been changing me, and teaching me, and healing me. That last one is just something completely indescribable, the finality of finally being able to discard of these old wounds and burdens and be finally able to live alive - at last. I do not merely speak of my physical illness/ess and the healing which I have slowly been receiving from the Father for these (and praise His holy name) but rather of the deep, inner and crippling wounds I have carried about on the inside of me for as long as I can remember. As it stands, I am also convinced that physical illness as was in my case was only a very small glimpse of the turmoil that was going on inside me.
My body at last, did weaken from the inside calamity and began to show as a physical illness. I truly believe that many physical conditions are only expressions of what is really going on inside - as it eventually has to get out somewhere. In many ways, it is a mercy it has happened to me now, that I am able to see and recognise these things which have been suffocating and hindering me for so long - and by God's incredible grace they have been revealed to me.

With that said, I can only say I am finally, at long last really beginning to truly understand (as if a mere human could) the incredible healing of God, the trueness of it, the freedom which can now be grasped, and the hope alighted. I know I will never be the same again, my Lord has touched me more than I ever thought possible, and has set my very world ablaze. Not in some crazy, wild, uncontrollable or childish manner, but in a way so deep, so hidden within me, so tangible, so true, it simply is. He is in me, He has healed me.

Does it not say in the Bible, 'come, and tell of the wonders He has done'? I used to think that was all very well - for others, and for truly miraculous circumstances. But not only is our God a God of miracles, He is a God of everyday miracles, of the little things, so concerned with changing our hearts and ensuring we know how much (or get a glimpse of) just how incredible and never-ending is His love.

With that thought in mind, I will end here, but do return, for you shall find me ever changed by the Grace of our Lord, and it even surprises me (who has had a close walk with God) to discover just how much I keep talking of what He has done - and in a genuine, real, way - as one who has experienced the depths of darkness and has been brought back into life and light! And O what glorious, real, saving light that is!

The Danger of Derailing Trains - and How to Prevent It

To write, or not to.

Writing requires thought.

Tought which, after a long, endless day at work, seems to become more and more mangled and disconnected.  At which point, speech itself becomes nothing more than jumbled sounds resembling, perhaps, some exotic variety of monkey...

Still, I have given you enough description to easily understand the current state of my mind.  Mush. Pulp. Oooh. Pulp.

Yeah, that sounds like my day.  Like my head. 
Millions of fragments of various thoughts racing (not walking) their way about my mind, each intent on its own train being first.

Trains of thought, that is.  Yes, I can see why they call them that. Each individual thought roams about with the subtlety of a train - make that one without controls or brakes. 
Yet just as suddenly as one great long freighter takes centre-stage, it is quickly de-railed by another, perhaps smaller, yet obviously as important, engine.
Just like those fast-pelt trains chugging along full speed in the old Western movies, these trains seem to never stop.  And they certainly don't like being driven.

I, for one, have always thought that it was pointless trying to lasso these wild beasts as they apparently don't stop or slow down for anyone.  Let 'em run loose.
Well, that's not always true. It's time - time to find the traindriver whithin yourself and master the madness in your mind. (Not madness, you say? Bah - you are human, as am I, the mind is madness.)

I used to think my thoughts were entirely my own. But I have recently learnt otherwise.
Tricky devil uses these 'trains of thought' to create as much catastrophe as possible!
Add to that the fact that, like in real life, if these trains are left to run loose they cause havoc and inevitably end up in destructive collisions. And that is exactly what the enemy wants - destruction.
He will cause your thoughts to de-rail, collide, blow up, run havoc and destroy you if you don't recognise that you can run your own trains!

My trains are crazy.  Sometimes they are colourful, bright, and fast.  Other times they are simply fast, dark and furious. Sometimes they are slow, pensive and lurking. And, sometimes, they are covered in graffitti.

But there's one thing that doesn't change.  They are MY trains.

 Like the professional manager of a real life train company, I should protect my trains from graffitti. I should control the speed, power outage and destination of my trains.
All this I should do, simply because my business will fail if I do not. Neglect leads to destruction.

Truth is, if our thoughts becomes toxic, pensive, powerful and dangerous, we will end up de-railing and eventually self-destruct.  Blow up. Destroy ourselves from whithin - not to mention possible passengers along with us.

My trains have long been given full reign of my mind. I have never really 'thought' of consequences. (This seems to have been a common trend in my life till now, pah)
Again, not giving thought to this has kept me in darkness about the mutiny aboard my trains.
Deceived. Kept in darkness.

But no more. There is a very simple way to say what I am saying in the above example.

'Think about what you are thinking about.'

It's that simple.  We choose what we think on. Sure, the enemy may put those thoughts there in the first place, but we always have that choice to think about them or not to.

There is one really simple thing we should all do, as christians,  - regularly.

   Romans 12:2 clearly states:

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

 

 Renew your mind. Think as God thinks. 

. Remember, only God can help you change your thoughts, to become holy and pure.

Philippians 4:8-9 states:

^{8 "}Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

This verse is an excellent reference and guide to follow regarding what we shouldbe thinking.

- Again, only God can change what and how you think.
He is the only one who can prevent these trains derailing.

Keep in mind that unless you set these trains on a course, they will automatically derail.
It's a default setting - called SIN.
 

Interlude of Bible Verses

I am reminded of God's promises. Among many other revelations I received between the early hours of 12-6am this morning, are these little principles. Prepare for a very deep addition to my blog (perhaps later this evening) which was inspired by my early morning session - but for now, read through these verses God revealed to me this morning.

A whisper, 'You have to choose to believe. Meditate on my words.'

~   "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.
      Before you were born, I set you apart;
      I appointed you as prophet to the nations."   ~ Jeremiah 1:5.

I have to choose to believe. To take it on. Why would God lie? Yet he does not.

~   "God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he not   speak and act? Does he not promise and fulfil?"  ~ Numbers 23:19.

This is truth. The word of God is truth and life.

~   "For the word of the lord is right and true, he is faithful in all he does."  ~ Psalm 33:4.

If the bible says it, it must be true. How easy it would be to question, doubt, reason or try to evaluate that statement. Yet the simplest/hardest task here is believing in clear faith that if the Bible says it is so, it must be so. I must believe in the promises of God.

~  "Abram believed in the lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness."  ~ Genesis 15:6

~   "Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior, and my hope is in you all day long."  ~  Psalm 25:5

~  "More than conquerors - what, then, shall we say in response to these things?

If God is for us, who can be againts us?"  ~ Romans 8:31

~  "Though I walk in the midst if trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me" ~ Psalm 138:7

 ~  "Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand the ones who take refuge in you from their foes." ~  Psalm 17:7

Believe. And know. He. is. God.