Eating - Free from Guilt - you might be captured and not know it...

Guilt. Ah. Yeah. 
I know that monster. 

I've been waiting a while to write this one. God's had it on my heart for some time now, but it certainly hasn't been something I have been able to conquer in a day. Or in a month. Or even in a lifetime. No, I cannot conquer it. Not on my own, anyway. But that's what I want to talk about.

In particular, the guilt associated with food. There are many areas which we can experience guilt about, but for me, and I am sure, many others, this area concerns food, eating, and physical appearance. I have always battled with feelings of shame, condemnation and guilt whenever I had anything to do with food - so much so that it became an occupational hazard. Haha. Part of the cause of that goes back to my own issues of self-esteem (or lack of it) as I mentioned in a topic further back. But some of that simply came from 'opression' that I was experiencing from the devil simply because I was oblivious to anything else.

It's like the example of A raining great big cloud - oftentimes we don't realise just how big it is until we get out from underneath it. Being condemned and always feeling guilty can be like that. We just don't know what its like beyond that. Sometimes, it can even feel like the 'normal'. We accept it. Try to live with it. Yet wonder why, day after day, we struggle so much, feel so terrible, and find it very hard to enjoy life as it should be.

The first step to getting rid of guilt, I believe, is to recognise it. That took me a long time, and some days I do slip back into accepting it. But we really cannot accept this burdenous beast if we are Christians - children of the living God - and have been freed by Christ to live full and free lives.
There is a huge difference between guilt and conviction. Feeling condemned is like death. Conviction is a little nagging to repent and change for the better. Condemnation offers no alternative - but continues to remind you just how bad you are.
Guilt focuses on our bad points, our sins, and flaws - intending to bring you down, down, down until you drop and have no means of escape. But God doesn't want us to be like that!

He has set us free! 

To recognise guilt, you have to believe that their is an enemy out there, and that he is out to get you. You may not even be doing anything threatening, but he is still out to take you out - and not for dinner.

Guilt is deceiving. I recently heard a friend of mine calling herself a 'fattie' for eating lunch. I was horrified to think that she really believed eating (of any sort) would make her fat. But then I soon realised this was my own thought pattern less than 12 months ago. There, in that instance, is an example of the guilt she was feeling.
Guilt is a lie. The enemy is very clever with his methods of warfare, and they always involve distorting the truth. If he can get you to believe that all food is bad, then you will always live in torment, fear and guilt of that food and he will have won - by keeping you captive to these things!

Guilt is not of God.

Once we have recognised guilt, and are feeling (hopefully) righteously angered by its effect on us, we can begin to take our stand against it. For good. That's not to say you will never experience guilt again - I still struggle daily with some things - but you will be freed!

Guilt is not of God.
Romans 8:1 Clearly states:

"Therefore, there is now no condemnantion for those who are in Christ Jesus,

- because throught Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of Life set me free from the law of sin and death."

See that? Freedom! And the first key to kicking guilt for good is to believe that wholeheartedly.
Not just believe, but know. Know, accept, and SPEAK it.

There is a huge power in the spoken word. That's the next step for kicking guilt - and this is the most important step, the one I use daily.

The Audible WORD of GOD.

The Bible lists in the collection of Spiritual amour a Sword which is of the Spirit, and describes it as the WORD of God. We know the word of God is the Bible. The Bible also call sthis sword double-edged and able to penetrate bone and marrow.

Using the Word of God against the enemy is like slashing that sword around - not just wherever, but accurately - and it is a deadly weapon.

Fighting guilt is that simple - quoting the Living WORD of God.

Quote scripture. Audibly. Be specific. It works. Some days I have to quote verses, specific ones, like that one above, for many, many times. Sometimes I forget about guilt and then wonder why I have a crap day because I don't fight it.
Do not accept guilt.
Remember, guilt is not of God. God has given us the keys and tools to be free - so pray and ask for them, ask for protection, for freedom, for joy - for peace.

As for food, even if you splurge, you shouldn't guilt trip yourself or allow guilt to punish you. Tomorrow's a new day - second chances anew. Allow conviction though - if you're eating way to much chocolate cake to be healthy, then slow down and listen to that conviction.

Remember, as far as food is concerned, guilt has no place.

Your body is a temple to the Lord. 

I know, from experience that its hard to to, but treat it as such. And don't try this in your own strength - allow God to strengthen you both in willpower and physically.
Accept no condemnation.

And live free.

Banana Bread - Wheat, dairy, corn, egg & sugar free!

In case you were wondering, when mum and I have a baking day.... we naturally have a whole baking day.  In other words, we make more than one thing! Yay. My favourite recipe of the day was this scrumptious banana bread. I love banana cake - mum's alway's been really good at making banana cake from black bananas. Unfortunately I haven't been able to have banana cake - until now. =D

- This recipe is Mum's, exactly the way she wrote it out. Enjoy. It really is worth making - plus, spelt flour, that's low-gi, and its sugar-free - even more reason to try out this baby! 

BANANA AND DATE BREAD - WHEAT, EGG, DAIRY, SUGAR FREE

 

 

In a blender, combine together:

1/2 cup buckwheat flour

1 cup spelt flour

1/2 cup oat flour

1 cup dates

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

tip all these ingredients into a bowl

 

Then again in the blender, combine:

1/2 cup rice malt syrup

1/2 cup oat milk

1/4 cup canola oil

 

Mix these wet ingredients with the dry ingredients.   Pour into a large loaf tin and bake slowly, 170 C,  for about 45mins.  

 

 Eat while warm! Delicious with or without butter. Mmmmm.

 

 I just like the look of this cake - very homey, warm, and perfect for  winter morning tea!

Bread Recipe 2 - Fluffy Soda Water Bread (Dairy free, egg free, corn free, yeast free...)

 You've heard of making damper with beer, right? Yeah, well, that I can't do. Beer is fermented. Besides, personally I think its gross. =P

But its the fermentation in beer which makes it so good as a raising agent in baking - without the need of any kind of yeast or baking powder. It's also the air in the beer (the bubbly, fizzy, whatnot) that also helps with raising baked goods. Just like lemonade. I have, in the past, used lemonade in cooking - but its on my no list due to the type of sugar and the flavourings and the preservatives.... need I say more?
But there is an alternative! Bubbly water! Yep, soda water lovers, time to get excited. Bubbled water I can do. And its thanks to mum for her patient experimentation of this newest bread recipe which we have actually made since. (That's a better ratio than the last one.)
Again, photography (c) me.... bread (c) the mum master. ;)

Spelt Soda Bread

Ingredients:
. 3 cups spelt wholemeal flour (for gluten-free loaf, substitute spelt flour for a combination of chickpea, corn, and rice flours)

. 1 Teaspoon Baking Powder

. 1 Tablespoon Malt Rice Syrup (syrup can be substituted with honey, or even golden syrup)

. 3 Tablespoons mixed seeds (I used poppy seeds but Flaxseeds or sunflower seeds work well.)

Method:

Sift 3 cups flour into bowl, mix well with Baking Soda. Sift at least 2 times from one bowl into another, making sure the baking powder is well mixed in and spread evenly. Sifting the flours ensures that air goes throughout the mixture and will help it rise later on.

Add tablespoon of sweet syrup and stir gently. Add 3 tablespoons of desired seeds and mix well, but make sure not to go too heavy-handed - you want the air to remain in the mixture.

Slowly pour into dry mixture 2 cups of soda water - slowly to ensure the mixture doesn't bubble up to quickly, and is spread evenly. Mix very gently, and well, until mixture resembles a dry-ish cake mix. The loaf doesn't need to be kneaded or turned into a dough, but make sure the mixture isn't too wet, either.

Gently pour into lined and greased loaf tin and bake in oven (170 degrees) for 45-50 minutes, turning halfway. Loaf is cooked when sounds hollow when tapped and browned on outside.

Slice while hot (not too hot) and enjoy buttered or plain! The great thing about this loaf is that its actually very similar to German bread and can be toasted!!!!!

Experimental Art... Pixel Realism

Artists seem to have the ability to pull of just about anything....

......... with just about anything. 

I've seen some amazing art even simply drawn in the dust of a window screen - now that's talent.

Anyway, I'm not actually bragging, haha. I love and admire artists. Inspiring. =) This is, however, an artie post.

Time for some of my latest experimentation art pieces - using one thing only - digital pixels! Yeah, I know, theoretically, digital art is using pixels. Well, by pixels, I mean.... that is all I used in terms of shaping and shading. No dodging/burning (lightening/darkening) ares, no smudging, no colours, no this and that special effects....
In fact, these pictures are so simple they can be done with the oldest MS Paint programme and a magnifying looker. I did do these on Gimp simply because it has layers to play around with, but truly, you don't even need these. Oh. And all I used was a wireless usb mouse. That's it. Nothing fancy.

Enjoy. I hope, in future, to be good enough at these to make some amazing piccies... hope. Thing is, its just like pencil drawing, only probably easier. Colours are a bit harder to work with.
Comissions always open........

 

(German Shepherd Dog, Schutzhund training... 100% pixel art, highlighted with white. Black colour.)

 

(Bald Eagle, 100% Pixel art, highlighted)

Ah, there's always some new style to try out. I discovered white ash today. Exciting.... maybe I'll create a white masterpiece using backwards shading - highlighting areas instead of shading them. Interesting.

And there was Bread! .... The Wheat free, corn free experiment

I have been missing bread.

Badly.

In fact, I think that's what I miss the most - vegemite on toast. So, I can't do the vegemite part.  But I have been trying, time and time again.... to create a bread using no wheat or corn flour, and without yeast.
It's still in the early stages.... and no doubt will be modified a LOT. But hey - it's bread! Yum. Plus, this receipe is extremely good for you and is a lot lower gi than regular bread. And it's filling.

Yeast Free, Wheat Free & Corn Free Bread 

(please note - this is not a gluten free variety... but can be made into one by substituting flours.)

See that baby there? Yes, that's my latest bread creation. And let me tell you, it's a beauty. The incredible part is that, unlike my other experiements, this one doesn't crumble apart when sliced, and fits nicely into a toaster! It's also reallly yummy warm out of the oven.

Oh - and that golden colour - that's chickpea flour! A wonderful low GI, high protein flour version.

Ingredients

2 Cups Pearl Barley Flour
3/4 Cup Chickpea Flour
1 Cup Brown Rice Flour
+ additional flour
1 Cup cold soymilk (or water)
4 Teaspoons Baking powder (more or less as required)




(ultimately, 4 cups of a combination of flours. For a gluten-free version, try chickpea flour, potato flour, rice flour, and corn flour.)



Method

Mix dry ingredients well, making sure baking powder goes throughout mixture.
Sift entire mix of flour at least three times. This ensures the air is sifted through and helps the bread rise.

Add Soymilk gradually, stirring with spoon. Mixture needs to stick together and be coming away from bowl. To do this, I added another 1/4 - 1/2 cup flour (any variety) as included above.
Dust table surface with flour, roll dough into ball. Work a little, but remember this will remove air, so not too much. The dough is quite hard and may crack - add water or flour to hands as required. Do not knead! Simply form into bread shape.



Place in lined/greased bread tin, score with knife, and decorate with rolled oats if desired.

Bake for 30 - 45 mins or until brown on top.

Slice while hot! Yummmmmm. Just to go too thick with your slices, or it may be heavy going!

note: For Gluten-free varieties, use a combination of Rice Flour, Potato Flour, Corn Flour, and Chickpea Flour. This loaf gets its colour from the chickpea and it adds a nice nutty flavour.

 Don't overdo the chickpea flour, though! If using this flour and only one other, go half and half of each.
So there you have it!
I am sure I will perfect this bread-making business one of these days, but this one is bearable... nice, in fact.

All photography (c) mine.

Restrictive Eating.... And Its Complications/Benefits... and learning how to eat again

                                           (Ah no, that's not me!)


I could talk about my diet for days and it might not make any difference to some people. To others, perhaps.

But, truth be told....

If it wasn't me, chances are I would simply smile and go on.

Listen politely, sympathetically, and think to myself, 'phew, what a relief that isn't my problem!' But the thing is, that oftentimes we simplify things that should be detailed and detail things that should be simple.

It is just too easy to 'smile and go on' when things don't affect us.  It could be anything, that affects some people and not others. Illnessess are only one example. How often do we simplify things that really need attending?!
And that's the other thing - I am certainly just as guilty of doing this than anyone. And..... I guess now, after having squelched and waded my way through this long, hard slog, I am beginning to see just how important it is to pay attention to some things, and not to take others for granted. Anyhow.

I eat a  very restricted diet.  If I didn't, due to ridiculous complications caused by constant vomiting, I would get dehydrated and die. Simple.  I have no choice but to eat restrictively.

But it's not that bad!

Amazingly, because of my current allergies, everything I eat has to be prepared by me with 100% original natural ingredients - so I know exactly what is in things. No nasty surprises = food stays down.

Apart from a few things, (like eggs, dairy and some fruit/veg), all the food I eat is as healthy as a health-freak could wish to be.  Haha - hilarious. Me, a previous white-chocolate addict, a health freak.
But hey - scrap the label - and you are just as normal as the rest of human scociety - only likely a very, very healthy version. Haha. Like me.
I'm not complaining. I actually feel the best I ever have. Woot.

The most difficult thing about a restrictive diet is finding interesting food! I miss so many things (like vegemite & Tomatoes) but am learning to enjoy others. (Including... hmmm )
Cooking without spices is also a challenge.

But it can be done!

Now I begin the voyage to returning to somewhat normal life with normal eating habits eating.... abnormal food! Yay, who wants to be normal anyway?

So follow me as I discover how to cook again - using allergen friendly ingredients.

And Life Goes On.

Life goes on.  It has to.
Just like everyone else's, so does mine.  Some days, it seems as though it is endless, and frustrating, and tiring. I'm not being depressed here, not at all - rather just stating the facts of life.  Life is tiring.  Sometimes its not fair.  Some days its exhausting just living.  But night always comes, and with it, the end of that day. A day does not have to go on any longer than daylight.
Why?  Because night symbolises a new day. New beginnings.  A new opportunity to try again.  A fresh opportunity to make mistakes, sure - but at least we have been offered that opportunity.


It seems that some people, when faced with death, and live, learn to appreciate life more.  This is because they have come to the awareness that it could all change - and does - and everything we take for granted could be taken away.

This is something I am learning.  Things I once assumed were my rights, I am now learning to understand are priviledges.  This air we breath is one such of these.  There are so many things we (I) take for granted, and ultimately we must remember who is resonsible for the fact that we are even alive.  Need I say more?

Just a thought, to keep your mind spinning.  Don't forget to be grateful - all too often I do.  Its a note to me as much as anyone else, and I simply must clarify to suggest that we all learn to appreciate just how much God has done for us. The list is endless - but don't just clump it all in a 'thank you' bin, either.  Take some time to really appreciate - as will I - some of the many things we should be grateful for.

For me, I might as well list a few.

- I'm alive. Golly, I never thought I'd actually say 'yay', or 'thanks' about that one. Haha, and that's the truth.  Not that long ago, I would have much rather been elsewhere. Reminds me of a passage I read a few days ago, where Paul says how much he would love to be dead, and with God, but how his purpose was to serve the people and teach them. Hmm. I must be here for a reason.

- I don't have to control my life anymore! Dude, seriously, its not my problem!  I don't have to do anything except be responsible - the rest is in his hands. So, how come I never knew that before???!

- Fear does not have to rule my life! Woot, that's right.

- I can run again! Yep, believe me, that's something to be grateful for. And even if I couldn't, God is teaching me to be happy where I'm at. Not wanting what I cannot have - that means being happy if all I can eat all day is porridge, even when they are eating ice cream (but that's another story....).

And those are only a few.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not slap-happy about any of these. I mean them whole-heartedly. Less than two days ago I had the worst 'chucky' day I've had in weeks, and it certainly was nothing to be happy about.  But that's just it - God is showing me how to be satisfied in the midst of my citcumstances.  Thrilled, delighted, no. Hardly.  But satisfied - that means not wanting something else, and being able to trust that what He's doing must be good.
I've given up fighting and carrying on by now. Its easier just to go with it, eh?
The things we learn from toddlers.

So, I've decided I might blog a week of my current life, just for something interesting. Maybe I'll begin with tomorrow =P.

Life has no choice but to go on - its just a matter of whether you're in it.