It's been a while since my last 'stomach' updates. There are many reasons for this. Some being, I suppose, my own questioning on just how many people actually read my updates, now that I am not, let's say, deathly ill.
In the same token, I suppose I have been inspired by the amount of searches people do about these particular illnessess, and how little there is out there about them.
But again, life has its hard times and sometimes it is these hard times that are not easily brought up again - without the pain, sorrow and hardship of yesterday.
There are many things I do not wish to go into and have not written about lately due to these difficulties.
Having come from such a painful experience, and while being healed slowly and gradually by the Almighty, there are some things which have left their scars.
Fortunately for me I have a God who would see me free of even the remembrance of these scars, but sometimes they do wait about before being dealt with.
Don't get me wrong - I have received so much healing in the past 12 months and most of it has been because of what has went on in my life - during and after, and even before my illness.
But the reason for not writing might be, perhaps, because of the unwillingness on my part to fully remember the bad parts about that time of healing.
I think it is that talking about it that brings healing, however.
Until now I have been to busy - and not ready - to write.
But now, on the eve of a year's end, I see this hope in the future burning brightly, coming ever closer, knowing now it can never and will never be taken from me - that Hope of Christ. It is because of this hope that I have finally grasped, that fear can be shaken off and the healing of the healing begin.
And only God can do that. But maybe its time. Time again.
Christmas.
In some ways, it was easier than I thought it would be. But in many ways, it was much, much harder. The time leading up to Christmas reminded me so strongly of the year before - and when my internal struggles became external - and the frightening, emotional rollercoaster that followed. This Christmas there were a few times, I must admit, when I was forced to rely entirely on my strength God (as should be all times), but heavily, in order for the fear of yesterday to pass. That is sometimes scary. But God is bigger.
He's got me through this so far.
I was given a message of hope this year, by God. Hope that is more than I have ever known or felt or believed possible. True hope - never ending. This hope - and purpose - has been slowly given, and is something I will hold onto dearly. This hope is what has made this Christmas different.
Eosinophilic Gastroenteritis.
This has had its ups and downs lately. After an amazing encounter or two with God in August during some prayer ministry sessions, I have been receiving gradual healing. It has not been overnight, but I am pleased to say that I have added some colour - in the form of carrots and sweet potato - to my diet. That may not seem much but to my very restricted diet, it is huge.
Unfortunately my eosinophils can be temperamental. On my bad or stressed days/weeks they can decide to throw a tantrum and start to repel everything. Thankfully this doesn't happen too often, unless I try something different, like strawberries.
Gastroparesis.
I still question the validity of this diagnosis but some days I wonder. Some days my stomach chucks a patty x2 with not only the vomiting but also the refusal to move or digest food. This generally only happens when I am stressed or very tired, or eat something very heavy going.
The fortunate part about all this is that I am learning exactly what my body is saying - and when I am stressed - and when to recognise it, obviously, as it goes to my stomach.
Food.
In general, has been very good. I find myself not craving other foods at all - unless I am absolutely starving and in a shopping store. I try to make sure that doesn't happen as it only leads to starving exasperation - a bad place to be. In saying that, I am very happy with my food and I love my cereal - it keeps me happy.
God.
A desert is a scary place to be, and hard. The funny thing about it is, tough, that God is there in the midst of all that. He has been so close, always there. Indescribably there.
The point of this all -
is, I suppose, to encourage, speculate, and simply talk. There is so much more to all this but now maybe, just maybe, having said something has helped even me with struggles that would otherwise remain wordless within.
And may that Hope forever more shine like the Sun - like My Son - Jesus Christ.
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