And there was Bread! .... The Wheat free, corn free experiment

I have been missing bread.

Badly.

In fact, I think that's what I miss the most - vegemite on toast. So, I can't do the vegemite part.  But I have been trying, time and time again.... to create a bread using no wheat or corn flour, and without yeast.
It's still in the early stages.... and no doubt will be modified a LOT. But hey - it's bread! Yum. Plus, this receipe is extremely good for you and is a lot lower gi than regular bread. And it's filling.

Yeast Free, Wheat Free & Corn Free Bread 

(please note - this is not a gluten free variety... but can be made into one by substituting flours.)

See that baby there? Yes, that's my latest bread creation. And let me tell you, it's a beauty. The incredible part is that, unlike my other experiements, this one doesn't crumble apart when sliced, and fits nicely into a toaster! It's also reallly yummy warm out of the oven.

Oh - and that golden colour - that's chickpea flour! A wonderful low GI, high protein flour version.

Ingredients

2 Cups Pearl Barley Flour
3/4 Cup Chickpea Flour
1 Cup Brown Rice Flour
+ additional flour
1 Cup cold soymilk (or water)
4 Teaspoons Baking powder (more or less as required)




(ultimately, 4 cups of a combination of flours. For a gluten-free version, try chickpea flour, potato flour, rice flour, and corn flour.)



Method

Mix dry ingredients well, making sure baking powder goes throughout mixture.
Sift entire mix of flour at least three times. This ensures the air is sifted through and helps the bread rise.

Add Soymilk gradually, stirring with spoon. Mixture needs to stick together and be coming away from bowl. To do this, I added another 1/4 - 1/2 cup flour (any variety) as included above.
Dust table surface with flour, roll dough into ball. Work a little, but remember this will remove air, so not too much. The dough is quite hard and may crack - add water or flour to hands as required. Do not knead! Simply form into bread shape.



Place in lined/greased bread tin, score with knife, and decorate with rolled oats if desired.

Bake for 30 - 45 mins or until brown on top.

Slice while hot! Yummmmmm. Just to go too thick with your slices, or it may be heavy going!

note: For Gluten-free varieties, use a combination of Rice Flour, Potato Flour, Corn Flour, and Chickpea Flour. This loaf gets its colour from the chickpea and it adds a nice nutty flavour.

 Don't overdo the chickpea flour, though! If using this flour and only one other, go half and half of each.
So there you have it!
I am sure I will perfect this bread-making business one of these days, but this one is bearable... nice, in fact.

All photography (c) mine.

Restrictive Eating.... And Its Complications/Benefits... and learning how to eat again

                                           (Ah no, that's not me!)


I could talk about my diet for days and it might not make any difference to some people. To others, perhaps.

But, truth be told....

If it wasn't me, chances are I would simply smile and go on.

Listen politely, sympathetically, and think to myself, 'phew, what a relief that isn't my problem!' But the thing is, that oftentimes we simplify things that should be detailed and detail things that should be simple.

It is just too easy to 'smile and go on' when things don't affect us.  It could be anything, that affects some people and not others. Illnessess are only one example. How often do we simplify things that really need attending?!
And that's the other thing - I am certainly just as guilty of doing this than anyone. And..... I guess now, after having squelched and waded my way through this long, hard slog, I am beginning to see just how important it is to pay attention to some things, and not to take others for granted. Anyhow.

I eat a  very restricted diet.  If I didn't, due to ridiculous complications caused by constant vomiting, I would get dehydrated and die. Simple.  I have no choice but to eat restrictively.

But it's not that bad!

Amazingly, because of my current allergies, everything I eat has to be prepared by me with 100% original natural ingredients - so I know exactly what is in things. No nasty surprises = food stays down.

Apart from a few things, (like eggs, dairy and some fruit/veg), all the food I eat is as healthy as a health-freak could wish to be.  Haha - hilarious. Me, a previous white-chocolate addict, a health freak.
But hey - scrap the label - and you are just as normal as the rest of human scociety - only likely a very, very healthy version. Haha. Like me.
I'm not complaining. I actually feel the best I ever have. Woot.

The most difficult thing about a restrictive diet is finding interesting food! I miss so many things (like vegemite & Tomatoes) but am learning to enjoy others. (Including... hmmm )
Cooking without spices is also a challenge.

But it can be done!

Now I begin the voyage to returning to somewhat normal life with normal eating habits eating.... abnormal food! Yay, who wants to be normal anyway?

So follow me as I discover how to cook again - using allergen friendly ingredients.

And Life Goes On.

Life goes on.  It has to.
Just like everyone else's, so does mine.  Some days, it seems as though it is endless, and frustrating, and tiring. I'm not being depressed here, not at all - rather just stating the facts of life.  Life is tiring.  Sometimes its not fair.  Some days its exhausting just living.  But night always comes, and with it, the end of that day. A day does not have to go on any longer than daylight.
Why?  Because night symbolises a new day. New beginnings.  A new opportunity to try again.  A fresh opportunity to make mistakes, sure - but at least we have been offered that opportunity.


It seems that some people, when faced with death, and live, learn to appreciate life more.  This is because they have come to the awareness that it could all change - and does - and everything we take for granted could be taken away.

This is something I am learning.  Things I once assumed were my rights, I am now learning to understand are priviledges.  This air we breath is one such of these.  There are so many things we (I) take for granted, and ultimately we must remember who is resonsible for the fact that we are even alive.  Need I say more?

Just a thought, to keep your mind spinning.  Don't forget to be grateful - all too often I do.  Its a note to me as much as anyone else, and I simply must clarify to suggest that we all learn to appreciate just how much God has done for us. The list is endless - but don't just clump it all in a 'thank you' bin, either.  Take some time to really appreciate - as will I - some of the many things we should be grateful for.

For me, I might as well list a few.

- I'm alive. Golly, I never thought I'd actually say 'yay', or 'thanks' about that one. Haha, and that's the truth.  Not that long ago, I would have much rather been elsewhere. Reminds me of a passage I read a few days ago, where Paul says how much he would love to be dead, and with God, but how his purpose was to serve the people and teach them. Hmm. I must be here for a reason.

- I don't have to control my life anymore! Dude, seriously, its not my problem!  I don't have to do anything except be responsible - the rest is in his hands. So, how come I never knew that before???!

- Fear does not have to rule my life! Woot, that's right.

- I can run again! Yep, believe me, that's something to be grateful for. And even if I couldn't, God is teaching me to be happy where I'm at. Not wanting what I cannot have - that means being happy if all I can eat all day is porridge, even when they are eating ice cream (but that's another story....).

And those are only a few.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not slap-happy about any of these. I mean them whole-heartedly. Less than two days ago I had the worst 'chucky' day I've had in weeks, and it certainly was nothing to be happy about.  But that's just it - God is showing me how to be satisfied in the midst of my citcumstances.  Thrilled, delighted, no. Hardly.  But satisfied - that means not wanting something else, and being able to trust that what He's doing must be good.
I've given up fighting and carrying on by now. Its easier just to go with it, eh?
The things we learn from toddlers.

So, I've decided I might blog a week of my current life, just for something interesting. Maybe I'll begin with tomorrow =P.

Life has no choice but to go on - its just a matter of whether you're in it.

A World Without Wheat

Imagine your world if you removed one of the most frequently used grains in all of modern times - wheat. Yes, I am talking about one of the most mass-produced bumper crops of all time. Wheat has, in fact, become so frequently used that the original crops were very, very distinctly different to today's genetically modified products.
It is that modification and 'purification' (to the point of too much refinement) that wages war against my stomach. No, I do not have celiacs disease (thankfully) but I do share a large variety of symptoms with sufferers. For simplicities sake, let's just say I cannot eat wheat at all. Gluten itself does not appear to be a major issue, as barley and oats (both containing this substance) do not affect me at all. As for wheat, well.
Oh - did I mention 95% of commercial foods found at Woolies contain wheat?! No kidding, it's scary once you start looking.

So, where does one go without wheat? Well, that's the incredible thing. There are so many other grains we rarely use because wheat takes centreplace. It is also important to note here that these other grains are not nearly as genetically modified as wheat crops, and therefore a lot better nutritionally. Also, I cannot eat these grains processed as it is that process (as well as addition of preservatives, etc) that affect my stomach.
These are some of the grains I have discovered (so far) that are not only beneficial to eat and stay in my stomach, but are also considerably nutritious and delicious!

Oats



Rolled, ground - as porridge or used as flour in baking, oats are high in fiber and contain some protein. I have found rolled oats particularly useful in a variety of cooking experiments, as a substitute for any of the gluten free flours containing various additives/grains I cannot eat, and therefore cannot use.







Pearl Barley

This beautiful grain is low GI (that means it digests slowly, and stabilised blood sugar levels) and very filling. Not to mention it tastes delicious and cooks up in a similar manner to rice - providing it is cooking for a long time. It is especially delicious as porridge.





Buckwheat

Ah, buckwheat. It has such a beautiful, nutty flavour. Well, I like it. It is especially wonderful in biscuits and does cook up like rice, however it does not expand.  I like eating it sprinkled, raw, on top of cooked porridge. Yum.







Brown & White Rice Varieties


Rice! No more needs saying, really. But, to be honest, I am not a huge fan of rice, especially as it is high GI and mostly starch. bleh. But, brown rice flour is especially useful in cooking. It has its place. Unfortunately though I cannot eat rice noodles as they contain corn.

The New Normal

(This is how my life has felt lately. Also my stomach, and, I'll admit, the emotions. Now it's beginning to look more like a Lake... with a few whirlpools ;) )

Finally, at last, this upside-down world of mine is beginning to find some sensible order.
I am finally regaining my sanity =P as well as discovering a new depth to many of the pre-existing things in my life.
It feels as though my entire world was shifted, and the course of my life altered - but why? This I cannot say, only that I know God has been and will continue to be sovereign over everything, and I certainly give Him permission to do so.
Oh, and did I also need to mention that, in the midst of these hard, trying months, I have not been dramatizing in order to make up a story, and certainly not for gaining sympathy. (I hate being pitied. yerch.)
It has been probably, if not definitely, the most difficult, growing experience I have yet... experienced. Perhaps that means it was pretty difficult, or perhaps that I am soft (both? ;) )... but in the end it doesn't really matter. What matters is the end result, and, well, I believe it is somewhat (rather, a lot) closer to completion (that is to say, this butterfly may finally have obtained its wings), although, as I am not God, I cannot entirely say, and therefore must leave it trustfully in His hands. His loving, caring Hands.

My New 'Normal' life includes the thrilling news of, well, recovery! I cannot believe that it has taken me so long, and it feels absolutely wonderful to be able to walk around, do 40 squats a day (hehe, building muscle) and begin to focus on 'normal' aspects of life again. Tafe can begin again (groan) and I have already been back to work.

So, what have I learnt through all this? A lot. Enough to fill the pages of many books. Perhaps someday that book I will write. Oh, and speaking of books, in the last few weeks I have been inspired (as occasionally and rarely happens) to write, and write I will. I have already begun the intricate research and yesterday began writing. What am I writing? Come back here to find out - something fictional, intriguing, and very relevant.

In the Midst of it All - To Soar on Eagle's Wings

"29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

What a well known verse. For some, it is simply something we have memorised time and time again from sunday school up. We know it, recite it, and use it, yes. But do we really know it? 
This verse has become very personal for me over the past few months. I am finally heading in a generally good direction - at last I can see that light at the end of this tunnel - but let me tell you, I still have difficult days. And it is because of this verse, and many others like it, that I still hold on in those difficult days. Hold on to the life in those verses. Hold on to the word of God. There is life in that word; at times it is the only thing keeping me alive. I can only say that I am grateful to know firsthand that those words are all true. All of them. 

Recently (a few weeks ago) I was comissioned  by a friend to paint some worship banners. God led me to firstly paint the design onto paper, and then paint the finished product once the materials arrived. At the same time (I had forgotten about these banners) I ended up writing a 3:00am sermon on the very verses above. Turns out my paints arrived the same week and I literally ended up painting these eagle banners and writing my eagle sermon in the same week - I even finished them on the same day! Coincidence? Ah, no.

Sermon Notes - From Real Life Experience -Eagle's Wings

"I want to look at these few verses in a very detailed manner. I believe there is a great depth to this passage - a depth that can be easily missed if one skips through or lightly reads these few verses. Yes, it is fairly easy to grasp the main context of the verses, but I also believe that there is actually a lot more detail to each and every one.
To explore this possibility, I am going to pull apart each verse and in a variety of ways and translations. Today we will look at verse 31.
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength."

The first thing that catches my attention is the fact that this sentence begins with 'but'. The use of this term states that a fact will follow. This fact states that despite everything (circumstance or otherwise), 'this is what is going to happen anyway.'
'Those who hope.' Looking at the word hope, we know this is the verb refferring to the action of believing in, waiting in expectation, and desiring with anticipation. The definition of the word 'hope' as found in the dictionary is described as such:
In use as a noun, the word hope is described as: noun. expectation - expectancy - expectance - trust.
In use as a verb, the word is described as: verb. trust - expect - anticipate.
In summary, hoping (or 'to hope') is the act of, or believing in a greater good regardless of the situation or the circumstances. This is more often than not very difficult thing to do and can oinly truly occur by the grace of God. Yet it is actively choosing to hope in spite of everything when we are truly hoping; even if we do not 'feel like it' or there is no immediate relief from a difficult situation. It is the hope in that situation which defines us.

'Those who hope - in the Lord' - The latter part of the verse explains to us where we are to place this hope. The only place for us to put our complete trust in, and to wait in expectation for and with anticipation is Christ. We hope in Him, that is to say, we believe that because the Bible declares it - and we choose to believe that the 'greater good' we seek and long for can only be found in Him.
This verse has no mention of placing our hope in people, places, items or circumstances. God is the only being who can do anything about changing our circumstances, and placing our hope in anything else (perhaps we are even doing so when we 'hope the clouds give us rain today' ) is completely pointless.
'Those who hope in the Lord' . We will return to this half of the verse in a moment. Now, let's look at the second half of the verse.


'will renew their strength.'
I'll begin with looking at the word 'will'. Simple though it is, this word describes to us a very strong action. The word in this form is expressed as a promise. When one reads this verse, the word 'will' stands out as something that we know to be an unquestionable fact.
Will is not 'maybe', or 'might', nor is it 'won't'. God is saying, very clearly, that he will do something - there is no possibility of Him doing otherwise. To me, that reads like a very strong promise. And we also know that:

"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?Numbers 23:18-20"
This speaks very clearly of the fact that God keeps His promises. When He makes one (as above), He will (there is that word again) undoubtedly bring it to completion.

More often than not, the word 'will' preceedes another action word. In this case, it does.
'renew their strength.' The thing that I find interesting here is the use of the word 'renew' - and notice that wording used is not simply 'repair, replace' or even, 'give them strength'. Renew means to be made as new. And in reality, renewed cells are a whole lot better than the worn out originals, and will last a lot longer. Being made as new means the replacement of old - which results in a better outcome! God is not only doing something amazing here, but He is ensuring we don't settle for second best, but rather are made whole and completely renewed. Isn't that amazing?!

Let's put our verse together.
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength."
Reading that slowly, it begins to make sense, doesn't it? But (the fact of the matter is) those (you and I) who hope (wait in anticipation, expectantly) in the Lord will (no question about it, no maybe) renew (be made as new, if not better) their strength. (Their strength being their source of ability, this being found in Christ.)


"They will soar on wings like eagles;"
I particularly want to focus on this verse. The eagle stands out to me the most - but we will come back to him in a moment.
Notice again the use of the word 'will'. Again, we read this like a promise. It states a following fact.
'soar on wings'. Notice that it does not merely say fly, or flap. Soaring is the expression of ultimate freedom that can only be found at great heights and where there are no forms of restraint. Soaring is the freedom to fly wherever and whenever - carried by the high winds with little effort or exhaustion. Wings are also an expression of freedom. They are strong, powerful, and defy the force of gravity.
Soaring means also to fly at a great height, freely, without fear. This absence of fear, as expressed by the eagle, if simply because the eagle is the largest predator in its habitat and the bird has no need to fear. There is nothing greater than the giant bird and it need not live in fear of its life, constantly checking over its shoulder or hiding at the slightest movement. Is this not how we are to be in Christ? Free from fear, or the restraint of living in constant fear. God intended us to soar - without worry, anxiety or fear.
'as eagles'

The eagle. Picture a large bird, distinctly larger than all the other birds, flying high up in the sky. He is so large that, even at a far distance you can still see him very clearly. He is circling, hovering, and not once do you see the creature flap its wings or appear to be struggling. The great bird hovers way up there in the sky, slowly moving in the sky as it floats on the high wind currents majestically. Not only are you filled with terror (that is, if you take the form of a mouse or even a small dog) but you are also filled with a sense of awe. One can not help but stop, and admire this grand creation.
To truly appreciate what it means for us as Christians to 'soar as eagles', we must dig deeper into our knowledge of this symbolic animal.
The eagle is a majestic, powerful animal and has long been known as one of the grander creatures. It is strong, fierce, powerful and extremely intelligent, and each unique aspect of this creature has been carefully designed.
Take, for example, the bird's eyes. They have been designed in such a way as to allow to light to enter at a fast rate, enabling clear vision even at a remarkable distance. They sense movement immediately, enabling the bird to see prey from a great distance away.
The eagle derives its name from the words aquila (meaning agile), and aquilo (meanining north wind). While being known as a fiercesome bird of prey, one remarkable factor has been noted about how the eagle hunts. It has long been observed in all kinds of falcons and predatory birds that proir to making the attack, the birds look over their shoulder to ensure there is no danger of a predatory attack upon themselves before swooping. the eagle, however, is afraid of nothing, and it has been noted to be the only bird which does not do this.
All throughout history the eagle has been used as a symbol of stregth, majesty and boldness. It has been found on the flags, arms, and emblems of kings over many centuries and in a great number of nations. The wings were often used to represent flight, freedom and strength when added to a human form.
When we look more closely at this incredible creature, we can catch a glimpse of what God meant when He said we would 'soar as eagles'. He did not say we would waddle like ducks or flap like chickens - but rather, chose the most powerful and awed bird in the entire bird kingdom, and likened us to this creature - soaring freely in a way we certainly could not fly otherwise.
Other translations of this verse include the phrase 'mount up' instead of soar. This indicates that not only does the eagle soar once he is in the sky, he also rises above the rest in order to do so. He lives above the ground - living his full potential. He is blessed and living in his inheritance.
　
Thus, from this verse we have established the basis for some of these:

Promise.
Strength.
Purpose and direction.
Freedom.
Peace.
Joy in freedom.
No fear.
We should walk in these to the full, just as our Eagle 'soars' above all the other creatures with an effortless splendor.

~~~

And that - that has been my life over the past few weeks and months. Learning to rise above the pain, above the struggle, above the endlessness, and to soar - in the way that God would have one soar. The hardest part is getting beyond all that you know, and doing it afraid - regardless of the future. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Today. Flying today. For the now.
 

Updates on, well.... Updates

I am not sure just how much updating one can do without it becoming boring. For that I do apologise, and very sincerely. However there are some who want more current updates and so I must elaborate on the previous updatedness.
Yes, I am still keeping food down! Only the selective few non-allergenic food types as previously listed, though. Anything orange still really dislikes me - oh - and egg is a major 'bad' food right now. Swede works, although I have discovered it tastes like squished brussels sprouts - yuck!
I am learning how to cook with very little ingredients and attempting to make some kind of variety of the menu.... which sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. Soup'd on the menu more often than not.
Food aside, I have been making some incredible progress physically and am (finally) beginning to weigh more than 40kg. Yay! Also I have gained my appetite back! and have started 'molting' - and am getting a new layer of skin in. Interesting. And... my hair is no longer falling out. That's always a plus. haha.

Oh, also, did I mention it's cold? Very cold? And I have no fat. That makes being warm difficult. I feel the cold. brrr. At 20 degrees I am shivering. Cold freezing winter.

As this is a quick update before I go away, I do not really have the time to waffle on about the latest revelations of mine. But be assured there are many of these, and they certainly will be updated on here in the near future - especially those partaining to all the incredible things God has been doing in my life latey. He's pretty awesome, and always has a greater good intended - even if we do not always see it, or agree with that plan.

Oh, and I finally returned to work after about 6 months away.... and it felt amazing! 4 hours was all I could manage but I was finally able to go back! They were all very welcoming and it felt so good to be back where I love doing what I do.

And as for Kaelen - well, apart from being a confused dog and thinking a pile of poo is a tennis ball.... yep, he's doing real well. Once I get back its serious training time.

~Anna